Normalising kōrero around death – an interview with the Casketeers

Photography by Lightchasers

When whānau meet with funeral directors Francis and Kaiora Tipene, one of the first things the couple does is thank them for their courage.

‘It is a brave thing to do, and we want to acknowledge that. We hope to make it normal to kōrero about death,’ Francis said.

Tō tātou reo advance care planning spoke with the pair, who star in their own reality television show – The Casketeers - after their keynote speech at the Te Tāhū Hauora Health Quality & Safety Commission event Our voices: The journey to healthy futures | Ō mātou reo: Te huarahi ki pae ora forum.  

We talked about our shared goal of normalising kōrero around death and dying and supporting whānau through being prepared. The pair see advance care planning as an important tool to help achieve this.

‘We have seen the difference with families who have been prepared and those who haven’t. The discussions are so much easier for the whānau,’ Kaiora said. 

‘We have seen the difference with families who have been prepared and those who haven’t. The discussions are so much easier for the whānau.’

Kaiora Tipene.

Advance care planning

Advance care planning is a process of thinking and talking about your values and goals and what your preferences are for current and future health care. It helps you to understand what the future might hold and say what health care you would or would not want, including end-of-life care and any wishes for tangihanga/funerals.

You can find out more here: What is advance care planning? (myACP.org.nz) 

Being prepared

The courage Francis and Kaiora speak about is not limited to whānau. It is not unusual for a person who is dying to come into the funeral home.

‘Sometimes they will come with their family and when they are prepared (for example, through advance care planning), it makes things so much easier. It’s a way we can witness and support their wishes,’ Kaiora said.  

The Casketeers

The Casketeers television series follows Francis and Kaiora, who own and run Tipene Funerals. They approach their mahi with aroha, respect, kindness and a dash of humour.

The aim of the series was to help demystify death and dying and open the conversation more.

‘We weren’t sure how it would work. We thought it might be too sacred, too tapu,’ Francis said. ‘It was pitched to us as a documentary, and we thought it would be a bit more serious. We were shocked when we saw the first episode, there was a lot of banter and humour – but then we realised we needed that balance, and it actually worked.’

‘We hope to make it normal for us to kōrero about death,’ Kaiora said.  

‘When we went to the marae for tangi (funerals) as kids, that was where the true tikanga (Māori customs) came out. It was where we saw the family in full swing.’

Francis Tipene.

The Casketeers is available on TVNZ+ The Casketeers (tvnz.co.nz) and on the Tipene Funerals website (tipenefunerals.nz)

A deep sense of manaaki  

Francis and Kaiora’s journey to become funeral directors grew from a deep sense of manaaki – looking after people. 

‘When we went to the marae for tangi (funerals) as kids, that was where the true tikanga (Māori customs) came out. It was where we saw the family in full swing.  

‘Growing up on marae, all of that was very normal for me. The tangihanga process was very normal,’ Francis said. ‘Today, in some groups, it’s not normal, but we are having these conversations now.’  

Theirs was not exactly a popular profession growing up, but things are now changing.   

‘It was hidden. You would go to careers expos and there would be nothing for funeral directors. Now we get invites to be part of these. Rangatahi are interested now,’ Francis said.  

From left: Francis and Kaiora Tipene perform waiata with Te Tāhū Hauora Te pou tūmatanui Doug Edwards at Our Voices

Whenua ki te whenua – an advance care planning guide for whānau

To help aid this kōrero Tō tātou reo has created Whenua ki te whenua, an advance care planning guide designed specifically for whānau. Available in English and te reo Māori, it was co-designed with a Māori advisory group and is a resource for all Aotearoa New Zealand.

It is available in PDF and physical format, and you can find it here: Whenua ki te whenua – an advance care planning guide for whānau. 

‘We are connected to the land from the first breath of life to the last. Our spirit is carried within the belly of the wind to the resting place of the ancestors.’

— Len Hetet (Ngāti Maniapoto, Te Atiawa, Ngāti Apa).